The big day has finally arrived and all your long hours of preparation have led up to this point – the venue is booked, the decorations are up, your dress, makeup, shoes are all ready for you. At this stage, it’s important to take a step back and prepare yourself mentally for what’s to come at your wedding and the days right after. Here are some helpful tips to help you get mentally ready to be a wife and married to your partner.
- 1. Think about ‘we’ instead of ‘me’
Marriage isn’t about being selfish, so your mindset has to be already focused on the ‘we’ instead of the ‘me’. Doing this doesn’t lessen your identity and mean that you put your personal opinions and happiness aside, but it means that you consider your spouse in all your dreams and plans. This is the time to enter in a partnership with your spouse as your team member.
- 2. Look at some role models
This is a good time to look at a couple which shows a good example of a long, happy, and committed marriage and see what you can learn from them. Talk to them about how they handle arguments and disagreements and how they balance their work and personal lives, but also how they treat each other. Learning from them can be a good guide for you and your partner as a newly married couple.
- 3. Go to a premarital class
There’s nothing wrong with going to a premarital class with your partner to learn more from a counselor about insights they have and advice, especially if you’re feeling pre-wedding anxiety. This is different from getting advice from parents and friends because a counselor is unbiased and non-judgmental so your advice you get will be neutral.
- 4. Plan your finances
Your financial situation will change from being single to managing a joint household finance with your spouse. The reality is that money issues are one of the main reasons that people get divorced, so it’s key to start planning and adjusting to a joint financial life before the wedding. According to Nicole Harris, a wedding blogger at 1day2write and Brit Student, “be open with your fiancé about your salary, debts, loans, and investment, and discuss your long-term financial goals. This helps setting the stage for what you expect, and you can discuss saving plans and spending habits.”
- 5. Discuss children
You need to be ready to discuss children if you haven’t already done so. Ideally, you and your partner already know where you stand on children, and how quickly you want to start a family after the wedding. When you reach an understanding, it’ll be easier and less pressure to decide when to start expanding the family.
- 6. Learn to forgive
A successful marriage needs partners to be forgiving, so you should already prepare for this. By holding grudges, your relationship will suffer and there will be negative energies between you and your spouse in your home. Learn to forgive each other and see the positives in the obstacles you face. This allows you to grow together as a couple without being bitter or resentful.
- 7. Be flexible
You should manage your expectations about what married life will be like, because it won’t always be perfect. As per Victoria Nubles, a lifestyle writer at Australia2Write and Next Coursework, “be flexible in your expectations and keep an open mind so that you’re not going to give up when you face some downs together. There will be unexpected changes in your lives, that’s almost a guarantee, so you need to be prepared to adapt together.”
- 8. Have some boundaries
You might have a different perspective than your spouse as well as different wants and needs. To reduce friction, be clear from the get go about what works for you. Are you extroverted or introverted and do you need some down time to yourself? Can spouses remain friends with exes and can you stay out all night with your friends catching up? You should agree on your boundaries together so you know what to expect before something catches you by surprise.
By preparing yourself before your marriage, you’re setting yourself up to be happier and readier for anything that could happen, and building the foundations for a long and happy marriage.
Darryl Martin, a professional writer and proofreader with Academic Brits and PhD Kingdom, is interested in articles about traveling, spirituality, and health and wellness. He shares his background on psychology and motivational speaking with his readers. His works are also available at Assignment Help.