Mon Amie stylist Betzi comes on to discuss shopping for your wedding dress when your plus size. Betzi and Imani share some information on the process from their own perspectives being plus size women.
Imani 00:37
Hey everybody and welcome back to The Tea with Mon Amie. Today we will be discussing a lot of frequently asked questions and need to know tips for plus size brides. So it is going to be a little bit of a longer episode we gave a ton of really great information. So without further ado, I hope you enjoy. OK, everybody, welcome to The Tea with Mon Amie. Today we’re going to be talking about plus size, just everything plus size. All of the plus size things from two plus size ladies. My name is Imani. Today I am with Betzi. Betzi Introduce yourself.
Betzi 01:16
Hi, I’m Betzi. I work with Imani here at Mon Amie. I myself as — I’m a plus size woman have always been and proud to be, very passionate about the subject. I’m excited to talk about it.
Imani 01:30
Great. So I do want to talk about our sizing because that’s he and I are both plus size women as she stated and I don’t remember if I did but I am a plus size woman as well. For me, I am about 6 feet tall. I typically run normal size clothing about an 18 in bridal. However, I am anywhere from a 24 to a 26 and that’s mainly because I personally am super hippy. I’m a little more pear shaped, smaller bust, smaller waist very wide hips. So yes, we’ll get into that Betzi, what’s going on with you?
Betzi 02:16
So basically Imani is gorgeous. [laughter] I am 5’2 on a good day and I have been a number of different sizes right now, I’m falling like 14, 16 more or less and in bridal, I’ve fit anywhere from a size 26 in the past to I think currently like a size 18, 20
Imani 02:45
I would say when we addressed you were like an 18, you were doing well on the 18th. So, that’s us two different people. Generally, the same kind of perspective, because bridal plus is a very interesting. It’s an interesting topic.
Betzi 03:03
Well, I think when you are talking about anything that has to do with women’s bodies, every woman is so unique, of course and even women that wouldn’t consider themselves to be plus size sometimes because of some feature or other you do end up being a plus size bride.
Imani 03:17
Bridal is different than standard sizing for sure. With bridal you — I mean, I tell every single bride not to come into the store and look at numbers because the numbers are so different. So typically those numbers are going to look like about anywhere, honestly, it’s about two to four sizes plus what you are. So me being a 18 I would typically look at like a 22 or 24 in bridle. but it is all dependent on designer silhouette of the dress, you know, I might be a 26 and a slim fitting gown. But I’m going to be an 18 in a ball gown or a line shape because there’s no hips. So it depends on your body type a lot as well. Do you have anything to add to that in terms of the sizing?
Betzi 04:12
Well, yes, I think it’s important. Again, women’s bodies are so unique. That I think it’s important to keep in mind that again, it’s just a number. It has literally no meaning at all and honestly I’ll tell girls sometimes like you know it just because they want to be mean to us. But we will always recommend ordering the size that will fit your largest measurement and for everybody that’s a little bit different. So depending on how you fall in any given designer size chart, that could be three sizes up from what you normally wear, it can be two sizes up. Sometimes you’ll fall spot on but that’s so rare in a designer size chart, but you should expect a larger number than you normally wear
Imani 04:58
100%. Just honestly, and I always tell my brides just leave the numbers to us just worry about your dress fitting you. So when we tell you, this is where you’re falling, we’re maybe falling an inch shy of it, do you want to go up, I personally always recommend going with a bigger size, because that pressure is for what? Because sizing, going to take it there — Sizing is a social construct. So I mean, nobody’s going to look at your tag on your wedding day and go, what the heck, your dress size is at 26.
Betzi 05:34
If your dress even has the sizing inside [crosstalk]
Imani 05:38
Exactly, most don’t. But I mean, ultimately, you need to not worry about the sizing, I cannot stress that enough. Do not worry about the sizing worry about your dress fitting you, don’t try and put yourself through all of this crazy craziness trying to fit into your dress, just so you can say that your dress was a size smaller. Who cares? You’re going to get altered anyways, it’s not even going to be that exact size anymore.
Betzi 06:05
What we’re ultimately here to do when we’re helping you pick a size is to make sure that you’re going to look your absolute best on your wedding day, we’re never going to want you to do something that’s riskier, that’s going to stress you out, because chances are, it’s going to make the whole experience a lot more stressful and unpleasant for you, which weddings, as it comes closer to the day can be overall. So if you can avoid the stress of having to worry about at least your gown, you’re doing yourself a favor and that’s why we always recommend going with a larger size, because taking in things is always so much easier than letting things out.
Imani 06:36
100%. So in terms of sizing, that’s really like the big takeaways for that, I would also say the only time that I would ever tell somebody, you know, if you want to go with that smaller size, and you want to you want to do the work to get into the smaller size do it is because there are extra fees that come with plus size that a lot of people don’t know about. So when you hit a certain size on the size chart, a lot of times it’s going to be an additional cost to make the dress, it’s more material, you know, pretty….
Betzi 07:12
Little bit of a pattern change.
Imani 07:13
Yes, a little bit of a pattern change. So there is going to be a little bit more cost with that. Now, a lot of times that falls on an 18. So if you’re above an 18, you usually have to pay the price. If you’re below an 18, you don’t. So if you’re on that line between a 20 and an 18 and you’re trying to decide whether you want to go down and potentially lose a little bit, or stay with the 20 and maybe have it fit the way it needs to fit. That’s the only time I ever recommend people do that. Because it’s like if you’re going to say $500 — I mean for five pounds, 10 pounds, depending on what your body type is
Betzi 07:54
and where you normally lose from…
Imani 07:55
Exactly.
Betzi 07:56
At the end of the day, it’s important to note that you know your body so much better than we do, you know where you lose from if you have goals, if they feel realistic for you, you know your body better than we do and you ultimately get to choose whatever size that you end up going with. We’re always going to make the recommendation that we think is best that we think is the best place to start alterations from. But again, if you’re teetering in between two sizes, and you look at that size chart, and you look at the measurements, and you say, Oh, yes, I’ve been there before I was there recently, as far as measurements, then save yourself the money if you really feel it’s something that’s attainable.
Imani 08:34
Yeah, definitely. So, that’s just something to take away and we tell everybody, we tell every single bride that comes in here about the sizing, if they ask us about it, like it’s not just a plus thing, like it’s not, we’re saying, Oh, be prepared to have a larger size. I tell everybody that — Everybody always wants to know how it works because they want to look at the sample size gowns and know what they’re going to fit in. The thing about it is the sample gown is not yours. Unless you purchase a stock, that’s a different story. You know, that’s a whole different situation.
Betzi 09:09
But I think girls will even start off to dresses into their first appointment and say, Well, what size is it, this is fitting pretty well and we always have to — we always go based off of the measurements and the size charts, because there’s a number of factors that you need to take into account when you’re trying on samples. They’ve been on a lot of different body types. They’ve stretched out, some fabrics or stretchier than others. There’s just a number of things that you need to take into account. But yes, generally, every single person across the board will always fit end up purchasing a bigger size than they’re used to wearing.
Imani 09:41
Yes. So don’t worry about the numbers. Don’t worry about the size of the sample you’re in. You’re going to always need alterations. I have never, ever in my time doing this seeing a bride walk in and not need alterations on her gown.
Betzi 09:55
I saw one once and it was like seeing a flippin unicorn, everybody came out and they were like, wait, you haven’t had alterations yet? It’s so rare. All of the stylists had to come out and see it. Don’t expect it.
Imani 10:09
It’s never going to happen if it feels like it’s fitting good, great. chances are there’s something even if it’s as basic as a hem [crosstalk 10:19] Exactly. I think you would have to honestly be my height, which as I stated was 6 feet or close to my height 5’11, 5’10 to not need him. OK, you’re going to need something, period. So just yes.
Betzi 10:39
And bustles for those who are new to all of this. Bustles are points that you pick up the train with so that after you walk down the aisle and have your big grand entrance with your large train, it gets picked up when you get to the reception and it’s off the ground. So nobody steps in tears your dress.
Imani 10:55
Any you can opt out of the bustles, you can do it. I knew a bride that opt out of the bustles. I was at that wedding. It was a family friend of mine and on her wedding day she’s wearing her dress without any bustles and let me just tell you, how many people spilled stuff all over her dress. Because she’s walking with a train. She had a whole long train. How many people spilled stuff on her dress? How many people stepped on her dress? You want the bustles if you have the train? You want the bustles So, get the girls want the train. Most girls want the train?
Betzi 11:38
Have you seen Pinterest? I’m sure you have.
Imani 11:42
We know you have because you bring the photos in for us to see. So we know that. So now I want to talk about body shapes in terms of silhouettes of dresses, like what we would recommend for your body type at silhouettes?
Betzi 12:01
Sure. OK, so I feel really strongly about this and I am going to say something I firmly do not subscribe to the idea that any one woman with a certain body shape absolutely has to only try on one specific style of dress.
Imani 12:19
100%. I definitely agree. You don’t have to stick with these. Now, where this kind of goes is — I mean, you wear whatever you want, and you’re wearing, 100% you will wear it, you’ll wear the whole dress, people will love it, you’ll look beautiful, it doesn’t matter. But if you’re the type of person that has insecurities that have to do with your body type, which it’s every single person on this planet some people let it affect them a little bit more than others do. So this is more so what that’s for. So if you’re like what? There’s things that I need, this is what’s going to be probably a little more beneficial to you and hearing this. Now I do recommend those still, even though we’re going to jump into this and we’re going to talk about this. If you come into the store, well when your bridal shopping in general, not even if you just come into this store, if you’re going into any store, try on every silhouette.
Betzi 13:23
Yes. This the first group of dresses, just be very open with your stylist and say, I’m open to ideas, I’d like to try on one of every silhouette just to be sure or let’s say that we’re about to suggest different styles that are tried and true for different body silhouettes. If you have on your Pinterest board, just like picture after picture of mermaid gowns, and you really just want to try it on and you want to see it, girl do it. Now is your chance and who knows, you might put it on and love it. We’re going to make suggestions just based off of if you have absolutely — if you are just looking at your body shape, and you want to feel confident, and you have no idea where to start. That is what the suggestion is more for.
Imani 14:10
Yes, definitely. So that being said, we’re going to start with square shapes, which if you don’t know what a square shape is, that’s not really any definition. Kind of, you know, just square, you don’t really have a smaller waist or a larger bust or a larger bottom half either. It’s just square, which is actually really common. I get that all the time. That’s a really common body type. So what would you say would be your favorite silhouette for any square shape?
Betzi 14:45
I love a square shape and a fitted gown myself. I just think it’s so — I don’t know. I feel like it’s elongating which is something that they have going for them or something that has definition through like the bust line sometimes I like, what about you?
Imani 15:05
It’s a toss-up for me because I think that square shapes can fit almost any gown. But my favorite dress for square shapes would be a ball gown and I’m going to tell you why. I’m going to tell you why.
Betzi 15:26
OK, just to amend what I had said, lace placement is really important too.
Imani 15:30
Yes.
Betzi 15:31
Where the eye is drawn on the gown is really important.
Imani 15:33
Yes, definitely. So, the reason I love ball gowns for square shapes is because I feel like that full skirt, it creates the illusion of larger hips and it makes them look more like an Hourglass and now especially if you can get something like off the shoulder to broaden your shoulders a little bit, then you get that smaller waist in there and then you get that full skirt. Well, now you look like you have larger hips and a larger bust. So if you’re trying to create that illusion, that’s what I would go with. Now if you’re square shape and you’re like, you know what, I’m not trying to do anything, I’m good. I love myself, which you should — Of course, you should step one come in, I’m shopping, love yourself, period. But if you’re not really trying to create any illusions, I do love a fitted gown.
Betzi 16:34
I love a sheath.
Imani 16:36
A sheath gown, which is a straighter cut. OK, so a sheath gown doesn’t really flare out at the bottom, itr’s not a mermaid, it is not a trunk.
Betzi 16:44
It doesn’t taper in around the thighs, it just comes straight down.
Imani 16:47
It’s very straight. So in terms of sheath gowns, for square shapes that want to create an illusion, I would highly recommend looking for a gown with cutouts. Sure, I think that that’s always a good little trick is, we have so many gowns with cutouts, like sometimes…
Betzi 17:05
The illusion of it is really crazy because you’re like OK, clearly I can see that these are cutouts, but then you put it on and, Whoa, your waist looks small.
Imani 17:14
Your waist looks so, so small and I mean that’s I would recommend a gown with cutouts for anybody that wants to create the illusion of a smaller waist because it does, it really does and it’s fun. So if you’re in the mood to be really fun and you want something very edgy, I would say do the cutouts. They’re really beautiful gowns, especially the ones that we have. They’re very tastefully done. But if you want to err on the safe side, like I said I’m a ball gown for the square shapes. I like the square shapes in a ballgame.
Betzi 17:51
But again, you wear any dressy you want.
Imani 17:52
You wear any dress you want. So, next I would say pear shapes. So, my sisters.
Betzi 18:04
Here’s what I love on a pear shaped a fitted gown.
Imani 18:08
Let me tell you about what I love on every [crosstalk]
Betzi 18:12
Here’s the problem with fitted gowns on pear shapes, it can be a little bit of a challenge to get them up depending on how pair you are. But those curves make fitted gowns look amazing but also if you if you are feeling self-conscious about your hips, or you don’t want to show — You’re not comfortable with showing the gifts you have, then I would recommend starting with an A-line because a lot of times A-line can be really flattering, it really highlights how small your waist is and then it drops into a nice soft flowy gown without adding too much volume that will create the illusion like you were saying with the previous shape of larger hips.
Imani 18:57
So I would have to agree with that pear shapes, especially when you get to plus, okay, the dresses are not going to go up a lot of times when you get into the higher sizing. So if you are falling more so like me on a 26, you’re going to have a hard time/period, you’re going to have a hard time and with the hard part with the pear shapes is, your bust is smaller. So it’s going to take a little bit of finessing with the clips on your consultants part to really make that look the way….
Betzi 19:33
It means It’s intended to look. I think — Sorry, I don’t mean to cut you off, even though I love too. I think it’s important also to kind of establish the fact like we don’t mind. We have several ways to paint the picture for you of how the dress will fit if in the event we can’t pull it up, we have ways to show you what it will look like. It just takes a little bit of cooperation and teamwork between the consultant and the bride to show you how that will look, I feel like sometimes it — And we’ll talk about this a little bit later, it can be kind of I remember, even when I was trying on dresses for my wedding, when the dresses wouldn’t go up, I felt embarrassed and so I would jump to say, let’s move on. But usually, there’s a reason that your stylist has brought that gown into the room and it’s because it has aspects of something that you like and there’s a number of ways that we can show you what the silhouette will look like on your body and then highlight the details and explain to you the details on the gown.
Imani 19:35
Yes, right. Yes, don’t be scared of the clips, don’t be scared of whatever your consultant is going to recommend you, they are going to do or whatever your consultant is going to do to paint that picture because there is so many ways, there’s so many ways for you to see it and chances are — and we are going to get into this a little bit later. So I’m going to I’m going to keep this a little bit short right now. But chances are: they’re going to make it work.
Betzi 21:06
So that’s what we’re here to do.
Imani 21:09
Yes, that’s what our job is. We’re not you know, if we came to work every day thinking it was going to be a walk in the park and we weren’t going to have to work. What will we be doing? But yeah, I mean, pear shapes are — It depends how comfortable you are with your hips ultimately. I love having hips. I think it’s a great thing. I really do. I love hips.
Betzi 21:33
I cannot wait to style you for your wedding. I am going to do three separate dresses.
Imani 21:37
It’s gonna be a whole thing. I’m super excited about it. But yeah, I mean, I do. I personally love having hips. I know a lot of pear shaped women having hips. It is, and I say this and I know I’m going to regret saying this. But I said it’s very trendy right now to have hips. Which I hate. I hate the body shapes are a trend, but it is very trendy right now to have hip. So that being said, you do get a lot more women that come in asking for fitted gowns that are hippier, which I love now because when I started here, that wasn’t the case. Women always wanted to hide their hips or like put me in a ball gown, put me in an A-line so I can hide my hips.
Betzi 22:15
And I feel too while it is also the trend. Back then there weren’t things like social media where they could see abroad like a number of brides embracing their shape. Before all you had was like articles on any given wedding website, articles saying like, oh, if you’re a pear shape, you need to be in exactly the shape and that’s it. Those are your options.
Imani 22:40
Yes.
Betzi 22:41
I don’t believe that’s true. I think every woman is unique. I think every woman should wear on her wedding day. The thing that makes her feel the most beautiful.
Imani 22:49
- [laughter] relaxing.
Betzi 22:56
You’re not here with us, but I’m sprawled out.
Imani 23:00
We’re both we’re having a great time in hearing. Oh, there’s the line. Should I pop some champagne? I don’t know. I’m going to go ask him Laurel, can we get a bottle champagne, please. Laurel Mungo, we would love some champagne. But yes, so pear shapes. I would say if you’re comfortable with your hips. Do a tighter silhouette, you’ll kill it?
Betzi 23:30
And imagine to look back at your pictures and be like, Yes, that was me to show your great grandchildren. That wasn’t me on my wedding day.
Imani 23:37
Hello you wish you could never. But yes, so I would say in terms of the title silhouettes, though. Go with something with a fuller bottom. That might be where I’m a little more different. I would not put a sheath on a pear shaped woman. I would go with something with a voluminous full bottom, a trumpet a mermaid something like that. Because I just think that is the most amazing look.
Betzi 23:43
Yes, and it doesn’t have to be a structured trumpet or a structured mermaid, it can be something that falls really softly, it just has, like the good days on the side to just bring the skirt out a little bit. But definitely not a sheath just because it’ll look like because you will be smaller in the top and then you’ll have your hips and then it’ll go straight. It’s not balanced.
Imani 24:26
Yes, that’s where you’re going to feel like maybe that wasn’t the right move. I feel if anything —
Betzi 24:33
If anything…
Imani 24:33
So other than that, if you’re not comfortable, the hips stick with the ball gown stick with the A-lines, they’re going to be a little more…
Betzi 24:41
Forgiving, they’ll just highlight your waist and the second half of the gown will be just soft and romantic and flowy and the focus won’t be your hips.
Imani 24:53
Yes. So on that same kind of note. Let’s talk about Hourglass [phonetic 24:57] shapes a little bit.
Betzi 25:00
Let me tell you what I love running out.
25:06
[crosstalk]
Imani 25:08
We don’t care what you want [crosstalk 25:12] No, I actually really love ball gowns. I love ball gowns. I’m such a ball gown fiend, I think they’re so frickin pretty you never get the chance to wear a ball again and I want everybody to keep in mind that is listening to this. Betzi wore a long sleeve off the shoulder ball gown for her wedding.
Betzi 25:30
I shared it
Imani 25:30
And she’s out here telling everybody to get into a fitted dress. She looked amazing.
Betzi 25:34
I loved it every second of it.
Imani 25:36
She looked like a modern Princess Royal Queen of the weddings.
Betzi 25:44
Yes. That was my intention. I thought when I was looking for a dress that I would get something super sparkly and I got something with nothing on it, of course, as the story goes, but I did do the off the shoulder sleeves before it was cool. I just want to point it out.
Imani 26:02
Yes, when I saw her wedding pictures, I was like, Whoa, this is so pretty. It was just such a great look. So
Betzi 26:11
Thank you.
Imani 26:12
You’re welcome. So, an Hourglass shape, much like a square. I feel like can do anything? Yes, you can do anything.
Betzi 26:29
And again, it all has to do with how comfortable you feel about the different parts of your body. I have not met one single bride not from a double zero not to a size 26 not one single bride who is confident about absolutely everything on her body. Everybody has something everybody has — they don’t like the way their armpit cleavage looks, or the size of their arms or their left thigh. Everybody has something. So it’s all about how comfortable you feel showing off your shape.
Imani 27:01
Exactly. So and that’s going to be the rule for fitted versus fuller [phonetic 27:05] gowns, always if you’re comfortable or if you’re not comfortable, you have to go with what works for you. So I mean, Hour glasses can do a lot. They can do fitted with a fuller bottom, they can do more of a sheath, they can do full as an ball gown, they can do a little less full as in A-line. I mean, the only know I would make about the Hourglass shapes is if you are naturally bustier. You need to be careful with your neck lines.
Betzi 27:41
But I think that’s for anybody who happens to be bustier. I don’t know if we’re going to talk about that later on.
Imani 27:46
We’re gonna get into it a little bit more with women that are a little bit more busty. But I just wanted to make the note just to say something in terms of like, if…
Betzi 27:58
If you only listen to this point in the podcast, there’s [crosstalk] nothing there for me.
Imani 28:03
Yes, I mean, if you’re bustier, and you are a little more conservative, keep in mind that a lot of tighter gowns right now. It’s very popular for them to have deep neck lines — and backless with deep neck lines,
Betzi 28:23
And very trendy on the internet as well and I feel like it’s important to talk about, but again, we’re going to talk about it later.
Imani 28:30
So we’re going to dive into it later. But
Betzi 28:33
it’s something that you really should know if you are busting
Imani 28:35
just for the sake of saying something maybe you should watch out for because that’s kind of like what we’ve done with the other shapes and I don’t want people to think that we’re saying that Hourglasses are the most perfect of all shapes because there isn’t a most perfect of all shapes at all. There’s just differences. So yes, I mean, just be careful for that. It’s the same thing Hourglasses are typically a little more hippy as well you’re a mix but you know pear shapes and like an upside down triangle shape.
Betzi 29:02
And you have to be prepared as an Hourglass. Again, just getting back to the sizing thing, we’re always going to recommend we order to your largest measurement. So chances are when you look at your size chart, your waist will be smaller than whatever your hips and buttocks
Imani 29:16
Exactly and we’ll make it work. But that is [crosstalk]
Betzi 29:22
You could really try on whatever sparks joy
Imani 29:26
— Whatever sparks joy. So yes, that’s Hourglass and then I would say the other notable shape would be the upside down triangle where you’re more top heavy, and that shape.
Betzi 29:44
I think that’s my shape.
Imani 29:45
Your upside down triangle.
Betzi 29:46
Yes.
Imani 29:47
I don’t know you’re not very broad in your shoulders, though.
Betzi 29:52
is Apple separate?
Imani 29:53
Oh, we have to do apple. I forgot about it.
Betzi 29:56
I’m apple.
Imani 29:58
I don’t know about that.
Betzi 30:01
Absolutely. I am apple.
Imani 30:03
OK.
Betzi 30:03
I had a very strict definition of who I am as a person cannot take
Imani 30:08
Do not tell me what my body type is — So upside down triangle. This is the shape that I find a lot of times people don’t know when they come in what to do? Because surprisingly, people tend to pick the wrong silhouette at first for this shape, in my opinion. Again, I think every silhouette looks good on every shape. But if you were going to ask me to dress somebody with this body type, I would put them in. What’s your guess?
Betzi 30:55
A ball gown.
Imani 30:55
Yes.
Betzi 30:56
Well, no, that’s actually I agree 100%
Imani 30:59
Dependent on height, though, because you come in, you’re five feet, and you’re upside down triangle, I’m not putting you in a ball gown. There’s no way.
Betzi 31:04
What I will normally start with, depending on their pictures, of course and depending on what their priorities are. As far as comfort and whatnot, I will usually do at least start with something that’s more A-line and it doesn’t have to be something that has a split waist, there’s one pattern of top and then a defined waist seam and then a different fabric on the bottom. That’s not usually what I’ll start with. I’ll start with like one continuous pattern, A-line and then if they’re open to it, if they’re into it, we’ll do an off the shoulder sleeve. Just because sometimes that can really draw the eye to the clavicle, which then in turn will draw the eye downward.
Imani 31:41
Yes, and I think A-line is usually where I would end up with somebody who was a little shorter. So that’s where I would end up. However, what I love on an upside down triangle, and maybe your opinion is a little bit different. I don’t know, I’m going to tell you and we’re going to see, but what i what i love on an upside down triangle is I love layers. I love like any gowns with horsehair. I think that is like the little trick with that, too. Because a lot of times those gowns aren’t super full. They fall really beautifully but the layers will throw you off. So you’re not like looking just straight at the top part of you, which happens to be the larger part in this case, you’re looking at the whole picture.
Betzi 32:35
Well, I think again, it’s achieving that balance, right?
Imani 32:37
Yes, it’s the balance. So I love a layer down. What I would stay away from on these shapes is anything that would be trumpet or mermaid with a fuller bottom. I think it’s too much going on and I don’t know, I feel like my opinion is always different about that. But I feel, it looks like you’re stacking pieces the wrong way.
Betzi 33:05
Sure, it can.
Imani 33:08
But I also think that depends on height too. I think if you’re a shorter person, and the break hits you a little bit higher, you can do a gown with a fuller bottom that might be more trumpet, but I think if you’re a taller person, and you have that room through the middle, it’s like I’m going to see the larger top half of you and then I’m going to wait and then it’s big again, it’s basically a little stuff.
Betzi 33:29
Balance it and I think something that can be tricky when you are that shape is that if you do decide to do a fitted gown, sometimes it can look like there’s a lot of just loose fabric, like loose fabric where there’s not the intention of being loose fabric, which is something that’s similar for Apple shapes that I’ll get into later on. It just looks unbalanced
Imani 33:54
Un-balanced. So Apple shapes, let’s get into those.
Betzi 34:01
Awesome. So I am a self-proclaimed apple.
Imani 34:06
She’s a self-proclaimed apple.
Betzi 34:10
I love a ball gown for an apple shape — ball gown or A-line?
Imani 34:15
I love a ball gown for an apple shape. I love a ball gown for everybody I love an A-line for Apple shape and….
Betzi 34:28
I think ball gown for everybody, I like ball gown for every Yes. [crosstalk] bottom.
Imani 34:30
Ball gown looks great on everybody. You just have to be the person that likes [crosstalk 34:33] I also like a sheath on an apple. Okay, but I like A-structured sheath. Yes. Something with good support. I think it looks great and I think a lot of times Apple shapes are scared to do the sheath. Put one on, just put one on.
Betzi 34:53
Yes, for sure. I think so. As an apple person I wanted to give myself… So even after I had already selected my wedding gown, which don’t ever do this, but I was like — did I select too quickly — Was I too sure of myself too soon, because I only tried on the one dress, fell in love with it. That was it for me. But then afterwards — because I did work in a bridal salon, I did go through and try on every other shape just to be sure that I was correct on my hunch and I tried on fitted gowns, and just for my particular shape in my experience, it was not flattering for me, just because I did feel it highlighted parts of myself that I didn’t feel the most confident about.
So with mermaid gowns, I felt it was too much of the top, was round and then I had a triangle at the bottom, it just looked strange on my body and then getting back to that loose fabric around the legs area where there’s not the intention of having loose fabric. It did look like everything up top, even when it was a very structured dress, was like filled out and then the fabric around my legs look very GAPI and loose and it didn’t look like I was ready to be in a magazine.
Imani 36:14
Yes, once again, with all of these things, these are just you take it with a grain of salt. Yes, these are just our suggestion if you are looking for them. If you try on what you want to try and again, we said, try on everything. Find out for yourself because it’s impossible — With body types. It’s also impossible for us to sit here and say, you know, you are 100% this body type?
Betzi 36:45
Absolutely. I even heard the discussion between Imani and I right now where I was like, I’m an apple? And she was like, I don’t think so. So we can have a parade of women walk through and ask us what their body shapes are and you could be two, you could be three, different body shape
Imani 37:01
Yes, it’s very similar with your measurements, you’re not going to fall on the chart perfectly. You’ll fall in different pieces and that’s how it goes. But I mean, just suggestions, just places to start. I know that a lot of times brides love to come in with their research done about a lot of things.
Betzi 37:09
And there are some people that’s just their process, they come in, they do their research, they want to try on three or four things, and then they’re done.
Imani 37:31
Yes, exactly. So it’s just this is that.
Betzi 37:38
It’s just giving you a jumping off point. But definitely try anything that makes that sparks joy again, try on whatever would make you excited to wake up that morning and put it on where it…
Imani 37:51
Exactly. So next, I want to get into something that a lot of people don’t know about, which is how dresses are graded in larger sizes. So a lot of times when you come into the store, we’re going to be able to get you in a standard size. If we don’t have it in place and there’s times we won’t.
Betzi 38:16
But we always try to start you off at a point where we’re at least giving you things that will build a visual for future dresses that we’d like to pull for you.
Imani 38:26
Yes, usually the consultants, they’re good about not pulling things that they don’t think you will be able to get into, for the most part….
Betzi 38:39
For the first portion of your appointment is usually a message to our madness [phonetic 38:42] and ideally, we try to keep you in the loop as much as we can.
Imani 38:47
Yes, we’ll explain that to you, at least, I know I always try to explain it to Brides, you know, we’re going to pick on the first one and I’m going to put you in what I think is going to fit or you’re going to help me pick some dresses that you like and you want to try.
Betzi 39:03
[crosstalk] bring in a dress and I’ll say, you know, I think you’re absolutely going to hate the details on this. But I want you to see the shape because I want to bring some other gowns details that you like in this shape
Imani 39:12
Exactly. So then when we get into it, and I find that the bride has loosened up and maybe trusted me a little bit more. I will bring in a gown that I might not be fully confident I’ll be able to get on the bride, using some of the methods that you know we talked about briefly of just finessing it a little bit so that they see the picture a little bit. But if I can get a bride into a standard size dress, what’s important to know or if your consultant can get you into a standard size as a plus, if it’s working. What’s important to know is that when a dress comes in your size, the dress is graded to the size, meaning the details are graded to the size. That means the bra cups are not Yes, the bra cups will not be a ‘B’ in your dress. If you are not a ‘B’ and you’re ordering in a larger size. Also the detail. So if you have spiral beating around the cups, if you have like Wonder Woman beating around the cups [laughter]
Betzi 40:28
Don’t laugh, it’s real.
Imani 40:29
It’s real. It’s cool.
Betzi 40:33
It’s that eye drawing mechanism.
Imani 40:35
Yes. Yeah, a lot of times, a lot of times dresses will have details like that, that they get graded. So the beading might be a little bit different because it’s graded to your size. In terms of darts, a lot of times there’ll be a seam, well it’s a dart is a seam through the bust line on some dresses, the darts are exposed. It’s part of the look of the dress and this is just one particular example because there is seams and stuff like that. So if I am putting you in a size 14 dress, and you’re a size 18 that dart might come to near your side. Yes, like your armpit. Like near the side and you might say, “Oh, my gosh, I love that, how that seems right there”. Well on your dress it seems not going to be right there because in your size, it’s going to fit your bus the right way.
Betzi 41:35
It’s going right in proportion to the sizing that you order.
Imani 41:38
Exactly. So make sure with details. If you have a dress that goes for anybody, if you’ve addressed it’s not your size on and it’s pretty far off of your size.
Betzi 41:50
Like let’s say you’re a size four and in the size 12 you’re wearing a structured like boned bra cup, and you’re like, I fit perfectly in this size 12 in the bra cup, but you end up ordering a size where you have to know the bust is going to come smaller,
Imani 42:02
It’s going to come smaller… So it’s important that you know, and also that you ask your consultant about it. If you are like, Oh, I really love this particular detail of the dress, I need to make sure that this is going to look like this when it comes. I need for [crosstalk]
Betzi 42:23
Jusrt say, I love this. Is this going to stay here? What is this going to look like in my size? Which in my experience, brides have been pretty good about.
Imani 42:31
Yes, I mean, one big thing that I’ll throw in just to make this a little. I don’t know, to give some little bit of back to this. I had a bride come in for a long sleeve ball gown. The shoulders had been stretched out. So the dress came lower, through the V neck through the top, it came a little bit lower and the brides said, “Oh my gosh, I love this dress. I love how the top part is fitting me”,
Betzi 43:04
That’s kind of a plan. [crosstalk]
Imani 43:08
It was a long sleeve deep v ball gown. So she gets all the way there. She’s like, this is my dress. I know, this is my dress, she gets all the way there, and my manager comes in and she goes, you know, this is going to be higher when it comes into your size and I was like, “Oops” because it was stretched out she was going lower. So the bride ended up taking the sample gown, because she wanted it to be fit the way it fit. But that’s one of those things. She wasn’t that size, either. She was four sizes smaller than that. So two or four sizes smaller than that. So the dress coming in was going to be different. It was stretched out, which is another thing to know what the samples here.
Betzi 43:56
Is that they do get stretched because like we said, if we’re able to get a standard size on to a plus size bride, we absolutely will because we want you to see any gown that could be the one
Imani 44:10
Yes, of course. So just be cognizant of that — be cognizant of the changes that might be there, it’s not going to be drastic. It’s not going to be a huge change. But there could be something that’s a little bit different.
Betzi 44:27
And it’s important to note that the reason that those changes happen as far as grading is because it’s meant to deliver the designers intention in the way that the gown looks. So it’s ultimately for your benefit so that you look your best on the day.
Imani 44:43
Exactly. So on that same note, there is some things that you all as brides need to be aware of when it comes to two bodies and how dresses fit bodies, things that you know grading has to do with and that’s I’m going to dive a little bit more into this larger bust when you have a larger bust, the dress when you try and the sample, the waistline can be pulled up to look like an empire waist. Which if you don’t know what an empire waist is, that’s a waste that falls right below your bust,
Betzi 45:24
Which is usually not the intention of the count, I can count, probably on one hand to the Empire wasted gowns that we have here in store.
Imani 45:31
Yes, we don’t get that we don’t get that request a lot. But it’s a cool silhouette. So occasionally, when a bride sees it on, they’re like, Oh, this is cool. I like this look. But when you have a larger bust.
Betzi 45:50
Especially, when you’re trying on a standard non plus sized gown.
Imani 45:53
The dress will be pulled up and you want to make sure that when the dress comes in your size, or that when we opt for a bigger size to prevent this from happening, the waist is going to fall where it’s supposed to fall. Now, if you get the dress here, and you bring it to alterations and say, I really liked how the sample fit. I want you to do that with this dress. No, it’s not happening.
Betzi 45:56
And that’s not because we want to crush your dreams. It’s just because it’s like building an entire new dress. So it would be like paying for your dress twice. We could probably do it. It’s just a lot of work, a lot of steps, and a lot of money.
Imani 46:37
Yes, you’ll probably see — I mean, if you’re coming here, and you’re working with our alterations, people, they’re very talented — Nothing to do with their ability and everything to do with just the amount of work the cost, and the intention of the dress
Betzi 46:59
It would be essentially they’re just taking fabric from your dress and making a new dress.
Imani 47:04
Yes, of course. So, just be aware of that. On that same note, when it comes to your waistline, a lot of women don’t know where their waist is.
Betzi 47:19
Oh, sure.
Imani 47:19
So tell them where their waist is Betzi.
Betzi 47:22
I know you had one note. But the easy way to test it in case you don’t want to run and grab a measuring tape is you pretend to be a little teapot. You put your index finger and your thumb right around where your waist, I should say your torso creases when you bend to the side and that is where your waistline is.
Imani 47:45
I love that little trick. I’ve heard you explain that to people before?
Betzi 47:48
Yes, when I measure people, that’s what I’ll usually say. Just to be sure that I’m getting the right spot.
Imani 47:52
Yes, of course. You can measure it. It’s typically about two to three inches above your belly button. But honestly, it usually is the smallest part of your abdomen. So, your waist is a little bit higher than a lot of times people think it is, your natural waist. But yes, I use Betzi’s trick because that’s really easy. That requires nothing itself.
Betzi 48:18
So sorry, I wanted to talk more about the big bust.
Imani 48:21
Oh, yes.
Betzi 48:22
OK, so while we’re leaving the topic of being a bigger bust, you have to be wary. I know, it’s super popular on Pinterest. I know it’s the most beautiful Pinterest picture to have a backless dress — a backless dress or like a mesh illusion — There’s a couple different things, oh, this might not be just a little tidbit. So with the back, usually, I find that plus size brides will typically have a larger bust on occasion. You have to just be aware that when you have a backless dress, when you have a mesh illusion back dress, you have less support. It’s just a fact of the way that the gown it’s gravity. It’s all science. When you’re heavier in the bust, you need more fabric in the back in order to hold everything up how the way that most girls want it held up. When you’re seeing these backless dresses on Pinterest models, chances are as they don’t have the bus that you might have.
So as long as you’re okay with the idea that you might have to do something adhesive or that everything’s not going to be held up as if you were wearing a wired bra. Then it’s okay. It’s just a change in mindset. Because if you do go with a backless dress, you just do not have the same amount of support in the bust line
Imani 49:56
No, definitely not. mesh is very bad.
Betzi 50:00
Mesh is very thin.
Imani 50:01
Very, very, very thin. That’s like….
Betzi 50:04
It’s like I don’t even know what they’re called because I’ve never used in my life but stockings like, Penny house, that’s what it is. That’s what that material [crosstalk]
Imani 50:14
— Honestly, like when you buy command hooks and command hooks have a weight. That’s like me trying to hang a 10-pound picture on a four-pound command hook.
Betzi 50:24
Exactly.
Imani 50:25
You know, it’s going to hang it for a little while and then eventually it’s going to start to fall.
Betzi 50:32
So, even as you’re wearing the dress — Again, whatever makes you feel beautiful girl, I’m not here to break your dream or shatter your dreams. It’s just you have to be aware that it’s not going to hold everything up like a Victoria’s Secret [inaudible 50:47].
Imani 50:49
Yes, I definitely think that’s a good point. That’s a very good point. So be weary of that. Also, with a strapless gown, having a larger bust. Be prepared for the gown to crease under the bust because a lot of times I have heard of stylists, telling brides that: that will disappear. It will not.
Betzi 51:18
Specially depending on how big your bust is…
Imani 51:20
There is no alteration besides putting some invisible straps on your strapless dress, or putting straps on your strapless dress that will hold the dress up so it does not crease.
Betzi 51:35
It’s just nature, it’s just you put weight somewhere, there is a downward pull.
Imani 51:43
I cannot stress enough. If you put on a dress, it strapless. You don’t like the way it creases. Do not go with that dress.
Betzi 51:52
It does change a little bit for implants, is the only time that I’ve seen that those rules are the exception because implants are designed to be up and perky on their own. They support their own weight for the most part — but natural boobs, you know….
Imani 52:12
Yes, and I’m happy you brought that up. Because when it comes to plastic surgery.
Betzi 52:18
Let’s talk about.
Imani 52:20
Plastic surgery. As we’ve said this whole podcast, this whole episode, we are so into women loving their bonds. We are bringing this up to disclose for important information pertaining to “How plastic surgery affects address?”, not to say any personal opinions about the way that Mon Amie feels or that our consultants or our managers feel about this, again, you do what makes you happy, [crosstalk]
Betzi 52:55
At the end of the day, we’re here to empower women,
Imani 52:57
We’re here to empower women through having beautiful dresses,
Betzi 53:01
To making you feel beautiful, as beautiful as you can feel,
Imani 53:05
We will never ever, ever have anything negative to say about that. Just have to get that off of the arches but plastic surgery — So how it’s going to affect your dress, buying process, you need to have your plastic surgery done and healed before you come shopping or you need to know exactly how it’s going to change like inches, and it needs to be done and healed before you get to alterations because it will mess up your dress, it will mess it up. If we take measurements, you go and do it impulsive surgery and we don’t know in advance…
Betzi 53:49
Right, because we could have ordered a size that’s now not your size.
Imani 53:52
And the sizing — The dress ordering process and I completely forget to disclose this because a lot of times I just assume that people know they don’t. So the dress ordering process is we don’t sit on your order for six months we put it in, it comes in a month. If we tell you the dress is going to take six months, it’s because it takes six months, your order is going to go in within the three days. So that’s why in our contracts specifically, we have a three-day cancellation including the day that you order because
Betzi 54:29
We want to make sure we’re getting those orders in, so that we have enough time for your dress to be made and get to us.
Imani 54:34
Yes, and we are careful. So we want to make sure that we’re allotting for any special circumstances that might come up any delays. Anything that happens is a lot of our dresses come from overseas. So you can’t call us five months after you purchase the dress and say I need to switch the size. Because the dress is already in production, the dress is already getting made.
Betzi 54:56
Your dresses already traveling across borders on its way.
Imani 55:00
Exactly so you don’t have that amount of time to switch your sizing up. We need to know, the day you measure what’s happening with you or you need to tell — Yes, I mean, you need to just tell us if you’re planning on doing it after we need to know first. So, that’s really important to note with plastic surgery.
Betzi 55:20
For me. Ideally, I would prefer to have you have done it before you come bridal dress shopping, because it can change the way that dresses will look on your body.
Imani 55:28
Exactly. So that’s just our quick note about plastic surgery. Yes, so quickly going to jump into split sizing. Because it is something that I I did want to discuss, because a lot of times when we go with a split size, I don’t typically explain it in detail to brides because it can be a little bit confusing.
Betzi 55:58
And I feel like it puts a lot of undue weight on your shoulders that you really don’t need to be stressed about because the split sizing is more so for us and the designer.
Imani 56:05
Yes, it’s, you’re not going to really know a difference and if we just
Betzi 56:10
You’ll get alterations either way.
Imani 56:11
Yes, it doesn’t make it so you don’t have to do alterations. So split sizing is basically exactly what the name is. It’s a split size,
Betzi 56:21
We get one size
Imani 56:22
on top…
Betzi 56:22
in one place and one size on another place.
Imani 56:25
So it could be like an 1820, is a split size. So we typically only do that if we need to. That is last resort
Betzi 56:35
only if we absolutely need to.
Imani 56:37
It’s an extra charge. It’s a little more complicated for the designer and it also not available for every designer. A handful of designers offer it.
Betzi 56:49
And usually it’s the pricier ones.
Imani 56:51
Yes. It’s usually our what would be considered architour designer. So yes, the only reason we’re really disclosing this is just so you guys know, because it is a conversation that the consultant will typically have with the manager, and they’ll explain to you very shortly what it is. Do not stress about it. I also wouldn’t go in and ask for it. Your consultant will recommend it to you if they think…
Betzi 56:51
if you absolutely need it — The same goes for like opening a cup.
Imani 57:19
Yes, there’s certain little things like that, where
Betzi 57:22
it’s again, more so for the stylist, for the manager, for the designer. All of it at the end of the day is working toward our main purpose, which is making sure that you look absolute best on your wedding day.
Imani 57:36
So anytime you hear anything like that, that’s how they’re going to explain it if you ask, it’s two different sizes, but it works. So that is split size
Betzi 57:47
And I don’t know if I heard you say it, I’m sure you said it, but it’s usually an extra cost for split size.
Imani 57:53
Yes, it is an extra cost for a split size. So moving on, I do want to talk about some different fabrics because there’s a lot of different fabrics. So you briefly mentioned a little bit earlier with the mesh situation, just stay away when you have a large box. If you want to support…
Betzi 58:22
Again, yes.
Imani 58:26
I would also say that if you are an apple shape, you have a larger midsection that you are not trying to show…
Betzi 58:36
What are you going to say.
Imani 58:37
Stay away from Jersey or then creep
Betzi 58:41
Single layer creep.
Imani 58:42
Yes. Stay away from stretchy
Betzi 58:48
Again just for myself, I would stay away from solid matte one single material, or even shinny
Imani 58:54
Yes, [crosstalk] stretch, which I know is like, I want this stretch. I want the stretch. But I would stay away from it. I would stay away from soft satin — just stretchier, shinier satin, cleaning material and honestly, I would also stay away from sad because a lot of people don’t know with satin it’s not for every shape if you’re trying to conceal.
Betzi 58:58
If you have sections that you want to appear more flattering. Sometimes materials that cling and I will tell My Brides, you know the nature of this material is to be clinging. If you’re trying to hide something or just make something look more flattering, sometimes a stretchy material is not always the way to go and be wary if a consultant will say oh that’ll go away when we order the proper size. Because that is not always the truth.
Imani 59:53
Not always the case. Pretty much. I think we did a good job of discussing what to be careful when consultants say, as far as like this will go away. Typically, it is just like the things we discussed with the with the, you know, the bust with the crest, creasing, or sometimes with the fabric, like as you just said, right.
Betzi 1:00:20
Sometimes I’ll have brides come in with pictures from having tried on dresses in a number of places and they’ll say, I really liked the way this material looked. But I didn’t love how the sample fit in and showed this line here or whatever X, Y and Z, but they said that it will go away in the proper size and I always will tell them, it is a nature of that fabric to cling, even if it’s fitted, only right up until the smallest point of your waist and then they don’t take anything else in as you move. Yes, as bodies do as you will be doing on the day of your wedding. That fabric will still cling to every part of you.
Imani 1:00:56
Yes, definitely be careful and if anything, as Betzi was saying, if you have pictures of you in a dress, show them to somebody that understands fabrics, that understands how dresses fit. That’s always good to do somebody with a non-biased opinion. I feel like we do a pretty good job here of not being biased. I mean, my bride shows me a picture of a dress that she was in another salon, and I think it looks phenomenal. I will tell her to go buy the dress.
Betzi 1:01:27
Absolutely. If she’s already feeling like, I think that’s my dress, I’ll be like, “Girl go back, you look amazing”.
Imani 1:01:33
Exactly. But I’m also going to let her know the same as I know you would like if there are those things that I know are not going to change and that she’s bothered by. Things like that within the fabric. Also, kind of just, you know, this just popped into my head just now on that note, with satin fabric a lot of times it has those little — It almost looks like wrinkles in it. You know what I’m talking about, like those little creases kind of — it’s really hard to explain, but it looks like it needs to be ironed. It needs to be pressed.
Betzi 1:02:12
And I’ll get really quiet over here. I’m not sure what you mean.
Imani 1:02:17
I know I’m trying to explain it to you. We don’t have satin gown around us. Basically, it looks like the dress needs to be ironed. In satin gowns is……
Betzi 1:02:27
Are you saying, it almost looks like threaded texture?
Imani 1:02:32
No, that’s dupioni — that’s not where it looks like it has runs in it. That’s dupioni, it literally just looks like it needs to be ironed. There’s no other way I can explain it. I’m looking at this satin gown we have right here. Like through the bust line. You see how it is creasing a little bit.
Betzi 1:02:52
Sure.
Imani 1:02:54
That’s part of satin. That happens with satin.
Betzi 1:02:57
Are you saying like where the seams are?
Imani 1:02:59
No.
Betzi 1:03:00
Ok.
Imani 1:03:03
You guys understand what I’m saying? You’ll probably understand if you…
Betzi 1:03:08
If you see it on.
Imani 1:03:09
It’s gonna be one of those things where if you’re listening to this, and you go to a store and you try this out and get out and you see you’re gonna be like, that’s what she was talking about. Because it is really hard to explain.
Betzi 1:03:18
Are you talking about the soft satin gown? This one behind the makhado [phonetic 01:03:19].
Imani 1:03:22
All this satin gown. Makhado, it could also be could also be on that too. It’s on the soft satin— it’s not on the soft satin as much, I find it’s more so on satin with a sheen and [crosstalk 01:03:37] Makhado or satin with a sheen. You see it a little bit more. So it looks like it needs to be pressed. That doesn’t go away. What I will say is it doesn’t pick up in pictures usually that dramatic. It is not that bad, but it doesn’t go away. So if that bothers you, stay away from that.
Betzi 1:03:58
Great.
Imani 1:03:59
Great.
Betzi 1:04:01
What’s next?
Imani 1:04:01
So now we’re going to give you guys some tips on shopping [inaudible 01:04:09]
Betzi 1:04:11
Great! this is what I’ve been waiting for.
Imani 1:04:14
This is her time to shine. Betzi hits us with some tips.
Betzi 1:04:18
So I want to say before you walk in, I know again, just speaking from my own personal experience, I was so nervous — To the point Listen, as a plus person, society hasn’t always told us that we’re beautiful. You’re already coming in with a mindset that feels like, Oh, I’m going to go in there. Nothing’s going to fit. This is really stressful.
So my tips are: bring people that are supportive. If you feel like, there’s going to be anybody that’s triggering for you. Anybody that isn’t going to highlight your best qualities or — and I know that sometimes people will say, “Well, they’re a critical person and that’s why I brought them because they’ll tell me the truth”. I would say steer clear of people like that, because there are other people that are to steer you in the right direction and still may help you to feel beautiful and have a good experience.
So just bring people that are uplifting and that are going to make it the celebration that it should be as you train your gown. Second, you are beautiful. You are a magnificent goddess divine and nobody else in this world is like you do. Don’t let yourself come in here and be ready to feel ugly. Because you are not, you are gorgeous and chances are nobody is thinking about you what you’re scared that they are thinking about you.
Again, this is me just talking at me in the past, because we see so many different women and I can say in my experience in having helped all the different women in my career, I’ve never thought that any woman’s body was ugly. You know, everybody has been beautiful and everybody has narratives that they tell themselves — At the end of the day, you can even though it might take some inner work and self-work, come in here expecting to feel beautiful, because you absolutely are.
Imani 1:06:30
Yes, on that same note, what I think is important to address as well is that how amazing is it that you or really anyone you found somebody that you want to spend your whole life with? You know, how amazing is that? How amazing is it that you found somebody that thinks that you are the best person in the world, that feeling that love, remember that through your process…?
Betzi 1:07:02
It’s a celebration.
Imani 1:07:04
It’s a celebration every time you get down on yourself you say, Oh, you know this isn’t it or you feel like you’re not where you want to be — Know that somebody loves every part of you, every single part of you, so much so that they are committing their whole life to just continuing to get to know every part of you and can continue to love you and you’ve made that decision with them to this is always going to be a happy thing. Because really how beautiful is that? It’s amazing. So that’s my emotional tip. Keep your head in that place. Get down keep your head in that place. My tip is as a plus size woman myself, I always am more comfortable working with other plus size women when it comes to dressing myself, not to say, that a standard size person could not tell me how to dress.
Betzi 1:08:03
Absolutely not we have we just to their credit we have so many brilliant stylists who have endless experience that know exactly how to dress plus size brides, they are thrilled to work with plus size brides even, but if you feel more comfortable with a plus size stylist, is that where you’re going?
Imani 1:08:23
Yes, if you feel more comfortable with the plus size stylists ask, definitely ask if there’s one available. Nobody ever has a problem with that — offended by that. A lot of people don’t know that you can do that. It’s a preference. It’s who you feel comfortable with working. It’s just a general, it’s a little bit more relatable I feel like– So a lot of times that’s why I know I prefer it but yes, everybody is trained to do their job well. But if you are looking to— if you are somebody who wants that task, and on that same kind of note my other tip is: do not waste your time at a bridal salon that does not carry a plus sized sample. At least one that you can put on because you — This is tricky. Ultimately, you’re going to walk into a salon and you are going to be excited. Hopefully you’re going to be so excited to wear your [phonetic 01:09:32] dress.
Betzi 1:09:34
And we’re thrilled for you.
Imani 1:09:35
And we are so excited that you’re here looking for your dress. But it really doesn’t matter how confident you are. It doesn’t matter how much you love yourself. The first dress you put on ever —
Betzi 1:09:51
Right, you’ve built up this moment, you’re walking in with all your people and you are trying to pull on one dress and nothing is going to.
Imani 1:10:00
If it doesn’t fit. That is the worst, it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter who you are, it doesn’t matter what size you are, that is the worst feeling. So call your bridal salon, that you’re looking at going to check with them on their website, make sure that they carry plus, because it will be such a more enjoyable experience for you. If you can put on the dresses and beyond that, you know, if you if you decide to Oh, I really want to go to this salon, you know, and they only have one plus size down. I don’t know any salons that carry just one. I [crosstalk 01:10:39] But if you’re like, I really want to go to the salon, it was recommended to me, all this stuff, they only have one dress, one plus size gown in a salon, you know, do it. But try and find a salon with a good selection.
Betzi 1:10:54
— Or what you can also do is you because I I’ve heard that where they want to go to a specific salon and usually because it’s a specific designer, go to a salon that carries several designers and see if they have plus sizes there. Because then you can look at that dress by that specific designer alongside other gowns that will fit you that can illustrate what a silhouette will look like on you.
Imani 1:11:18
Yes, definitely. Yes, those are really my only tips. Otherwise, trust your consultant. Trust that they have a vision for you, trust that they’re going to listen to your vision and their vision is going to be based on what you’re telling them and what they’re seeing with
Betzi 1:11:36
Know that we’re here to accomplish your vision. We’re thrilled and so excited to help you feel the way that you want to feel that day.
Imani 1:11:44
Exactly. So, I mean, just have a happy heart, have a happy mind.
Betzi 1:11:53
And let yourself try, let yourself have a good time.
Imani 1:11:57
Let yourself have a good time, please let yourself have a good time. You know, that’s always the best because I find a lot of times too — Personally, I mean, speaking how I work as a consultant, when I get a group of people, when I get one bride, when I get a bride and her mom or whoever I’m getting, if I get you and you are excited, and you’re happy, and you are ready to just see what you can find. It’s not even about trying to make a sale. It’s not even about trying to…
Betzi 1:12:34
Which I feel like can be a misconception, like they come in, or brides can come in with that expectation like oh, well, they’re going to try and sell me something. That’s not our intention at all. We want to come here and have a good time with you in this special time in your life.
Imani 1:12:49
Exactly. When I get that, oh my gosh, it’s the best appointment ever. It’s the best appointment ever. We have the best time, and it’s really just like, I leave and I can’t tell you how many brides that I still follow to this day, I still talk to this [crosstalk 01:13:03] the relationship you build, this is such a special,
Betzi 1:13:07
How many baby shower gifts we send?
Imani 1:13:11
Everything you know — We really want to be we want you to be part of our family. We want to be a part of yours. So, just know, we’re here, we’re ready to help you find your dress when you’re ready to find it.
Betzi 1:13:24
And we’re here to party along the way.
Imani 1:13:27
Exactly. So the last little bit before we wrap up here, I really want to talk about some products that I love. In a plus size woman that I would recommend for wedding day. Now, Betzi, do you have any that you recommend?
Betzi 1:13:42
I don’t think specifically for plus size. I don’t know. You go first. Let me hear what you have to say and then if anything should come up, I will.
Imani 1:13:53
OK. So my favorite products that I think would be great for plus size brides: Definitely good investments. They’re not really investments either. But definitely something good to buy would be a chafing stick. I have a couple that are my favorite. The one that is my absolute favorite of all time. I cannot say on the mic because it has a bad word in it.
Betzi 1:14:22
Who is the manufacturer of money?
Imani 1:14:23
The manufacturer is a bad word. So, what I’ll do is I’m going to…. [crosstalk]
Betzi 1:14:33
Can you allude to it like the…?
Imani 1:14:36
It’s the another word for a female dog and I haven’t purchased it from this company in a minute. I do have their anti-chafing stick and what I love about this company is the owner of the company, it’s woman owned, and she donates a portion of our proceeds towards domestic violence. So I love that she makes chapsticks [phonetics 01:15:01] and stuff. They’re natural products. So that is my favorite anti chafing stick I found. I’ve tried a lot of them and that is my favorite. I don’t know when I run out and I’ve had it for so long and when I run out of it, I’m going to fingers crossed that she’s still in business because I know that she mainly sells at smaller stores and online.
So fingers crossed. But check her out. What I’m going to do is I’m going to post a Tik Tok video with these products. So you guys can check those out on our Tic Tok at Mon Amie Bridal Salon and see if you want to see what it’s actually called, since I cannot say it. But anti chafing critic is huge. Especially if you’re in a tighter gown where your thighs are rubbing together. We’re not going to sit here and pretend like
Betzi 1:15:47
It’s not going to happen because
Imani 1:15:48
It’s not gonna happen. OK, and it hurts. So get an anti-chafing stick. I think that’s huge. You put anywhere you change. I know some people will…. [crosstalk]
Betzi 1:16:00
Under their arms.
Imani 1:16:02
Some people will [inaudible 01:16:03] under their bust. You can put it anywhere and it’s so great. It’s so soothing and it’ll let you be able to do what you want all night. So I would say an anti-chafing stick. good pair of Spanx, if you want to wear. So, Foundation, garment, Spanx, we can actually build those into the dress. So that’s really important to note. So a great pair of Spanx is really important. My favorite Spanx are Spanx, I love them. I typically go three sizes down on my Spanx. I don’t recommend that to people that want to be comfortable because it’s very tight. But if you want to just be….
Betzi 1:16:44
Again, it’s all your comfort. If you can tolerate not breathing, if you’re a girl who wears the latex waist trainer every day, you could probably live through some Spanx for 12 hours.
Imani 1:16:55
You could live through some Spanx for 12 hours, if that… but I would say a good pair of Foundation garments, Spanx brand. We do have some Spanx brand here at our store.
Betzi 1:17:06
But I would say it’s useful for you to set aside a day to go in. I know things are crazy right the second but if you’re able to get to a Nordstrom’s, or some large department store and just give yourself a full day to look through what’s available to you.
Imani 1:17:22
Undergarments.
Betzi 1:17:23
— Or if that’s not your vibe or style, you can just order several different products off of the internet and then return whatever doesn’t work out for you — so long as that’s the policy wherever you purchase it from.
Imani 1:17:36
Yes, just see what’s best for you. There’s so many different brands of Spanx or so many Shapewear, Foundation garments. So many brands that create them. So I’m just telling you guys, my favorite is Spanx I find they work the best for me, they do have a body suit that I think is phenomenal. Because a bra built into it.
Betzi 1:17:58
And there’s even some shapewear now that is backless. Is that something you need?
Imani 1:18:02
Yes, they make a backless one as well. They make one with seamless bottoms. So you can see it. There’s just so many options. So I would highly recommend going to Nordstrom, like Betzi was saying, and checking out all the shapewear.
Betzi 1:18:16
It’s definitely at least a day’s worth of work. It’s worth it though, to make sure that you have a good fit for these pictures that you’re going to have for the rest of your life.
Imani 1:18:24
Yes, for sure. So, the last product I would recommend a face cover for your makeup, you can buy them off a lot of different sites. They’re usually like $2 they’re not anything crazy. So it’s basically just like a netting that you can put over your face and why I think this is great for plus sized brides is a lot of times you will have to put your dress on over your head. If you are wearing a dress that has a fuller bottom. A lot of times you will want to put it on over your head, you’re not going to put the dress on and sit while you get your makeup done, put a face cover on so you don’t get any makeup on your dress. You can put it over your head, you have to worry about anything else. So those are my three products that I would definitely say yes to. But yes, is there anything you can think of?
Betzi 1:19:22
There’s a product that I’ve been interested in recently I’ve been seeing it on a couple different brides. It’s called “Misses Kisses”, I think is what it’s called and it’s a bra, essentially where it’s two cups and then a wire that comes down low and they have several different wiring options. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like a V with two bra cups on the side so that you can potentially wear a backless dress and a low and a plunge to dress and still have everything gathered into the center. Which is a struggle for a lot of brides not even only plus sized brides but that’s about it, I think for myself.
Imani 1:20:04
Actually, there is one more I would say. So I want to throw this in because I found that this works really well. Especially if you’re having a long wedding, I recommend getting an invisible spray deodorant and what you can do is you can spray all of your creases on your body with the spray deodorant and I just tried — Try it one time, before your wedding and just see, you can spray under your bust with it, you can spray typical how you use deodorant. But it works really well in helping to stop some of this wedding and also just making sure that you’re going to be talking to a lot of people you’re going to be up, you want to make sure that you’re covered when it comes to that. So make sure you get an invisible spray if you’re going to try this because some sprays are not visible and I find the spray works best, you can use a stick, but the spray is a little bit easier if you’re applying it to other places besides just your armpits.
Betzi 1:21:20
Anti-chafing, I thought of one. So there’s a dusting powder from lush called Silky Underwear that works. That has worked really well for me. Okay from lush? Lush
Imani 1:21:32
Okay. Anything else you can think of?
Betzi 1:21:35
That’s it.
Imani 1:21:36
Perfect. Well, like I said, I’m going to put a tick tock up of all of these products that we’ve recommended so that you guys have easier access to it. Is there anything else you want to add Betzi in this?
Betzi 1:21:47
We love you.
Imani 1:21:50
He wants you all to know that she
Betzi 1:21:52
[crosstalk]
Imani 1:21:53
Everybody loves you. I’m super happy that we had Betzi on today to talk about this. I was really excited for this episode. As I discussed in the previous episode with Laurel — Laurel and the rest of the staff have worked really hard to show some love to all of our plus size….
Betzi 1:22:16
And we have some really beautiful dresses, we [inaudible 01:22:00]
Imani 1:22:19
Very hard.
Betzi 1:22:20
To curate a collection of [crosstalk]
Imani 1:22:24
That was really big as we wanted to be able to accomplish this. This boutique where plus size women could come in here and feel like they didn’t have to compromise on what they want.
Betzi 1:22:33
Exactly.
Imani 1:22:33
So we constantly are getting a new dress for Plus– You know, laurels always looking at new dresses when she’s buying and I just think it’s really amazing. So I was excited to do this episode. I’m happy that Betzi came on and joined us.
Betzi 1:22:46
I am so excited to be here
Imani 1:22:49
Stay tune for the next episode. Episodes come out on Fridays.
Betzi 1:22:59
Bye. Thank you
Imani 1:23:01
So that was all for today. Thank you so much to Betzi, our fabulous stylist here at Mon Amie for joining us if you want to hear more of our podcasts, make sure you subscribe to our Apple podcasts, Spotify podcasts or SoundCloud or YouTube. For all of our upcoming episodes stay in the loop. If you’re feeling like you want to show us some extra love, give us a rate and follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Tik Tok. So until next time, thanks for tuning in guys.
